Super+Hero+Friend?

__Super Hero Friend?__
Sometimes I think my friend has strange powers. Every time he’s around, strange things happen — the kind of strange things that would happen if he had strange powers. In fact, I used to write this comic strip with two main characters, Patrick Fitzhugh and Justin Doobie. Justin was just an average kid, much like myself, Dustin Joobie. The second protagonist, Patrick, had super powers; however, he had to keep them secret from Justin. It was a very successful strip, but I eventually decided to end it.

Soon after its demise, I noticed my best friend, Hugh Fitzpatrick, to oddly resemble Patrick Fitzhugh (from the comic). The two of us would often be caught in situations almost identical to such scenes I described in the comic; we would be enjoying each other’s company and be radically interrupted by him tearing of his shirt to reveal a super hero suit underneath. Without a word, he would then step outside, flail his arms like the town bum, Andre, does when he’s finished his flask, two 40s, and a line of cocaine. However, unlike Andre who screams and flails until he passes out or starts getting beat by cops, Hugh takes off into the air and flies away. He usually comes back about twenty minutes to an hour later and tries to act like nothing happened — as if the two of us have just been there this entire time! So, I mean, I’m not positive he’s got any powers or anything, it’s just that said scenario occurs remarkably often. It’s totally gnarly but just weird, just a little weird…

To appease my thoughts about it all, I checked with his mother. She was extremely unhelpful and decided that it would be best to just smack me uncontrollably every time I even hinted toward the words super, hero, or flying. I tried asking his sister, too. Sandra, his sister, acted similar to Patrick’s sister from the comic — she shot laser beams at me when I tried to ask and wouldn’t answer any question. I just deemed her naïve. Hugh’s dad was as unhelpful as his mom and sister; he’s just hammered all the time. He’s a moonshine tester, and therefore spends all hours of the day drunk.

Unable to attain any information from his family, I decided my only option was to confront Hugh. I gathered up a couple copies of my comic that were relatively pertinent to my situation and had my own one man intervention with him. We discussed the different scenes in my comic and how they would look in real life. Finally, I brought up how he often resembled Patrick Fitzhugh and how the way we depicted my comic would be in real life oddly portrayed him.

“I don’t know, man,” he mumbled to me, “it’s just… I really don’t see where you’re going with this.”

I might be mistaken, but I’m pretty sure it’s not very often that friends are found tearing off their clothes and flying away in the middle of a conversation. That was my only argument, and I couldn’t really be sure.

“I guess you could be right,” I told him, finally giving in. “I don’t have any other friends so I guess flying away is normal these days…”

After about twenty minutes of him explaining to me it's normal (as I just nodded, open-mouthed), he lost it.

“How could you be so ignorant?!” he exploded, “So, so naïve! Absolutely ridonkulous! Of course this isn’t normal! I //fly// away!” “But, you sai—"

“I was lying, I’m a super hero! I fly away to save people and then come back, duh!”

I just sat there, shocked. After about twenty minutes of giving him that stare of incomprehension that one gives to Wendy’s foreign cashiers, I left. I decided to write this down in order to sort things out, hopefully I’ll be able to figure out what I wanna do with this all. It was all just too much to handle at once.